And the babies are chickerels

Alex || Cornwall, UK
___________________________________________________

Mum - You know how a male chicken is called a cockerel?

Me - Yes…?

Mum - Is a lady chicken called a henerel?

Bad Dreams Are Made Of This

Natalia || Poland
___________________________________________________

I was chatting to my mom on Skype this morning, and the following ensued…

Me: I had a really bad dream last night, I woke up with goosebumps everywhere.

Mom: Maybe you have a fever?

Me: No.

Mom: What did you dream?

Me: I can’t remember.

Mom: Then how do you know the dream was bad?

Me: Because I woke up from it, but then I went back to sleep, and now I don’t remember.

Mom: So you still don’t know if it was a bad or good dream! Maybe you needed to pee.

Speaking From Personal Experience?

Jen || Cambridge
___________________________________________________

My mum and I never ever talk about … you know. Ever. Then one day she said this, completely out of the blue.

Mum – Don’t wait until you’re married to have sex.

Me – What?

Mum – He might be bad at it. Then you’d be stuck with him.

Honey Makes The World Go Round

Murphy || Swindon, UK
___________________________________________________

My mum walked in from the supermarket with about three carrier bags full … of honey.

Me – Er, what’s with the honey?

Mum – I read that it doesn’t go off, so I thought I’d stock up. You know, in case.

Me – In case of what?!

Mum – In case something happens,like a nuclear explosion.

Me – So, if there’s a nuclear explosion, we’ll be ok, because we’ve got fifty odd jars of honey?

Mum – Beaming Exactly!