Your Mum Rates Us

Natalie Trans || Australia / Youtube
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Noticed on Natalie’s Twitter:

When teaching my mother some English (point and name), my sister points at a camel

Mum - Next. I don’t need to learn that.

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Has to be said that Natalie is one of our favourite people on these here intermawebs. Go see her. She is awesome.

Imelda Marcos Mother

Eleanor || Nottingham
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My older sister’s friend had moved away to university, and her parents immediately turned her room into a study.

Me - When I go to uni, you’re not going to turn my room into a study, are you?

Mum - No, why would we do that?

Me - Thanks, Mum.

Mum - It’s gonna be my shoe room.

Yo Momma

Derek || LA
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My friend’s mom said this to me; luckily she’s a cool lady and hasn’t banned me from the house! We were playing computer games in his room and telling your momma jokes. His mom walked in behind us and we didn’t realise.

Me - I wouldn’t touch yo momma with a ten foot pole!

His momma – You WISH you had a ten foot pole.

It’ll Be Delightful Either Way

Si || UK
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My friend turned up at our house just as we were finishing dinner, and my mum had made Angel Delight for afters. As my friend sat down with us she turned to him.

Mum - Would you like some Afternoon Delight?

Speaking From Personal Experience?

Jen || Cambridge
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My mum and I never ever talk about … you know. Ever. Then one day she said this, completely out of the blue.

Mum – Don’t wait until you’re married to have sex.

Me – What?

Mum – He might be bad at it. Then you’d be stuck with him.

A Cut Above The Rest

Abi || Maine
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Someone we knew (but didn’t like much) had grown his hair long and it looked ridiculous.

Me – I just want to go at him with a pair of scissors!

Mom - Yes, and while you’re doing that, cut his hair as well.