They never pick stunners to be the Panto Dame, either

Alice || Coventry
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Mum: I always feel so sorry for Dame Edna Everage. She’s such an ugly woman.

That always happens to me, too

Clare || Birmingham
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I heard my mom stomping up and down the stairs apparently looking for something. When she found it, she announced to no one in particular

Mom: Why is it ALWAYS in the last place I look?!

Catch 22

Tamsin || Dorset, UK
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We were debating starting the dog on a course of tablets that evening, or leaving it to the morning when he had his breakfast

Mum: Can you open them now, and see if they’re crushable, but if they’re not, don’t open them.

It’s yellow like a sunflower!

Gina || Halifax
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Mum – “What’s custard made out of? Is it a plant?

And the babies are chickerels

Alex || Cornwall, UK
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Mum - You know how a male chicken is called a cockerel?

Me - Yes…?

Mum - Is a lady chicken called a henerel?

Take That Like Exotic Fruit

Tammy || Bristol
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My mum calls herself a Take That fan, and I heard herself singing this in the kitchen about a month ago

Mum - We like papaya! Your love is my only desire! We like papaya!

When I asked her what she thought she was singing, it turns out she’d originally thought the lyrics we ‘Relight my fire’, ie, the correct lyrics, but my dad had convinced her otherwise.

My dad is awesome.

They Also Run In Time With The Circus Music

Sam || Newcastle
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We were watching a horse and cart pull up at traffic lights. My mum shook her head, looking impressed.

Mum - It’s amazing that the horse knows when to stop, isn’t it?

I Know Your Face So Well

Freckl || Scotland
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Mum - What the?! Young lady, did you get your nose pierced?!

Me - No?

Mum - Yes you did, I can see the hole where you took it out!

Me - realising No, mum, that’s just a freckle – I’ve always had it.

Mum - Oh. Sorry. Well, make sure you don’t get it pierced.

Are Bears Catholic?

MK || Florida
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Mom - Can people with a peanut allergy still have peanut butter?

The Weather In England Is Exactly Like The Weather In Turkey

Hazel || Cornwall, UK
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Whilst on holiday in Turkey, my mum decided to call her sister from the beach. No one answered (possibly because it was at 11am on a weekday)

Mum – I expect she’ll be outside in the garden on a beautiful sunny day like this.