Bad Dreams Are Made Of This

Natalia || Poland
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I was chatting to my mom on Skype this morning, and the following ensued…

Me: I had a really bad dream last night, I woke up with goosebumps everywhere.

Mom: Maybe you have a fever?

Me: No.

Mom: What did you dream?

Me: I can’t remember.

Mom: Then how do you know the dream was bad?

Me: Because I woke up from it, but then I went back to sleep, and now I don’t remember.

Mom: So you still don’t know if it was a bad or good dream! Maybe you needed to pee.

I Know Your Face So Well

Freckl || Scotland
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Mum - What the?! Young lady, did you get your nose pierced?!

Me - No?

Mum - Yes you did, I can see the hole where you took it out!

Me - realising No, mum, that’s just a freckle – I’ve always had it.

Mum - Oh. Sorry. Well, make sure you don’t get it pierced.

Honey Makes The World Go Round

Murphy || Swindon, UK
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My mum walked in from the supermarket with about three carrier bags full … of honey.

Me – Er, what’s with the honey?

Mum – I read that it doesn’t go off, so I thought I’d stock up. You know, in case.

Me – In case of what?!

Mum – In case something happens,like a nuclear explosion.

Me – So, if there’s a nuclear explosion, we’ll be ok, because we’ve got fifty odd jars of honey?

Mum – Beaming Exactly!

But You’re Still My Child

Danni || Cumbria
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Frustrated with being single, I turned to internet dating, and met a nice sounding man. After swapping emails for a few months we decided to meet, and in the interests of safety I told my parents where I was going.

Mum – But – but  – you don’t know him! What if he’s a paedophile?!

Me - I’ll probably be ok then, seeing as I’m 27.

Accessing the internet WITH MY MIND

Hannah || Birmingham
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I was saying goodbye before leaving for my second year at university. The house we were renting had not yet been hooked up with a phone line or internet.

Me – I love you, I’ll call you when I get there!

Mom – How will you do that with no phone line?

Me – … I’ve got my mobile.

Mom – Ok, but if that doesn’t work, email me.

Me – I told you, we haven’t got the internet set up yet. I’ll call, don’t worry.

Mom – Ok, well make sure you do. Or you could let me know via instant messenger, I’ll stay signed on in case.

Swine Flu Causes Memory Loss

Anna || Dartford, UK
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Me - My tonsils are really swollen today.

Mum - “Oh my God! What does that mean? Have you got tonsillitis? Or glandular fever? Is it swine flu?!?

Me - No, no, I’m fine, just a bit under the weather, don’t worry.

Mum - BUT THAT ISN’T NORMAL!

Me - Yes it is, it happens now and then. I’ll be ok.

Mum - But MY tonsils don’t do that!

Me - … I thought you had yours out when you were little?

Mum - … oh yes.