The Weather In England Is Exactly Like The Weather In Turkey

May 29, 2009

Hazel || Cornwall, UK
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Whilst on holiday in Turkey, my mum decided to call her sister from the beach. No one answered (possibly because it was at 11am on a weekday)

Mum – I expect she’ll be outside in the garden on a beautiful sunny day like this.

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It’ll Be Delightful Either Way

May 28, 2009

Si || UK
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My friend turned up at our house just as we were finishing dinner, and my mum had made Angel Delight for afters. As my friend sat down with us she turned to him.

Mum – Would you like some Afternoon Delight?


Speaking From Personal Experience?

May 27, 2009

Jen || Cambridge
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My mum and I never ever talk about … you know. Ever. Then one day she said this, completely out of the blue.

Mum – Don’t wait until you’re married to have sex.

Me – What?

Mum – He might be bad at it. Then you’d be stuck with him.


A Cut Above The Rest

May 26, 2009

Abi || Maine
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Someone we knew (but didn’t like much) had grown his hair long and it looked ridiculous.

Me – I just want to go at him with a pair of scissors!

Mom – Yes, and while you’re doing that, cut his hair as well.


Honey Makes The World Go Round

May 25, 2009

Murphy || Swindon, UK
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My mum walked in from the supermarket with about three carrier bags full … of honey.

Me – Er, what’s with the honey?

Mum – I read that it doesn’t go off, so I thought I’d stock up. You know, in case.

Me – In case of what?!

Mum – In case something happens,like a nuclear explosion.

Me – So, if there’s a nuclear explosion, we’ll be ok, because we’ve got fifty odd jars of honey?

MumBeaming Exactly!


County Confusion

May 22, 2009

David || Devon
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Mum and I were driving through some woods and she was commenting on the beautiful countryside

Mum – After all, Devon is the Garden of England

Me – …Isn’t that Kent?


But You’re Still My Child

May 21, 2009

Danni || Cumbria
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Frustrated with being single, I turned to internet dating, and met a nice sounding man. After swapping emails for a few months we decided to meet, and in the interests of safety I told my parents where I was going.

Mum – But – but  – you don’t know him! What if he’s a paedophile?!

Me – I’ll probably be ok then, seeing as I’m 27.