Imelda Marcos Mother

June 16, 2009

Eleanor || Nottingham

My older sister’s friend had moved away to university, and her parents immediately turned her room into a study.

Me – When I go to uni, you’re not going to turn my room into a study, are you?

Mum – No, why would we do that?

Me – Thanks, Mum.

Mum – It’s gonna be my shoe room.

Where We’re Going We Don’t Need Roads

June 15, 2009

Satsuki || Brighton

I was driving my mum and I home after a day out, and I was going a little faster than I perhaps should be. She glanced over to the speed guage, which happened to be 88mph.

Mum – Slow down; what happens if you hit the wire with the connecting hook at the precise instant the lightning strikes the tower?

To my shame she had to explain that she was quoting Doc Brown. My mum is cooler than I am!


see also: LoTR Mother, Star Wars Mother

Update from TMMS

June 12, 2009

Loving all your submissions, guys!

We’re thinking of stepping it up a notch and publishing TWO stories a day – so keep your Confused, Silly, Awesome, Bizarre, Mean and above all Funny Mother stories rolling in to us at the usual email – thingsmymothersaid (at) hotmail [dot] co [dot] uk

All submissions grateful received – we’d be nothing without you!


The TMMS Team

The One (Wedding) Ring

June 12, 2009

Alia || Aus

My niece was sitting on my mum’s lap, playing with her rings. She took each one off, modelled  it herself, then put it back on, until she reached my mum’s wedding ring.

Mum – You can’t take that one off, baby.

My niece – Why?

Mum – Because it’s … my precious!


see also: Star Wars Mother

Diagnosis Murder Would Have Been A Very Different Show

June 11, 2009

Will || Essex


After a particularly long sleep, I came downstairs yawning and proclaiming that I felt just like Rip Van Winkle. My mum looked a bit confused and said

Mum – The one from Mary Poppins?

At Least She’s Not One Of Those Pushy Mothers

June 10, 2009

Linda || London

As a kid I was convinced that I was destined to be the next Judy Garland, and my mum patiently drove me to auditions and mopped up my tears when I never got the part. One day I was particularly upset, and the following exchange occurred.

Me – I’m never going to another audition -never, never never!

Mum – Alright, honey. You really aren’t very good.

Oddly enough, it did stop me crying; I think from shock more than anything.

Take That Like Exotic Fruit

June 9, 2009

Tammy || Bristol

My mum calls herself a Take That fan, and I heard herself singing this in the kitchen about a month ago

Mum – We like papaya! Your love is my only desire! We like papaya!

When I asked her what she thought she was singing, it turns out she’d originally thought the lyrics we ‘Relight my fire’, ie, the correct lyrics, but my dad had convinced her otherwise.

My dad is awesome.