Diablo Cody Didn’t Write Borat, Either.

July 15, 2009

Sasha || Cardiff
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I returned home from the cinema and my mum asked what I had gone to see

Me – Bruno, it was very funny.

Mum – I know it, the one about the pregnant girl.

Me – It’s really, really not.

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Bad Dreams Are Made Of This

July 6, 2009

Natalia || Poland
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I was chatting to my mom on Skype this morning, and the following ensued…

Me: I had a really bad dream last night, I woke up with goosebumps everywhere.

Mom: Maybe you have a fever?

Me: No.

Mom: What did you dream?

Me: I can’t remember.

Mom: Then how do you know the dream was bad?

Me: Because I woke up from it, but then I went back to sleep, and now I don’t remember.

Mom: So you still don’t know if it was a bad or good dream! Maybe you needed to pee.


Your Mum Rates Us

July 1, 2009

Natalie Trans || Australia / Youtube
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Noticed on Natalie’s Twitter:

When teaching my mother some English (point and name), my sister points at a camel

Mum – Next. I don’t need to learn that.

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Has to be said that Natalie is one of our favourite people on these here intermawebs. Go see her. She is awesome.


Imelda Marcos Mother

June 16, 2009

Eleanor || Nottingham
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My older sister’s friend had moved away to university, and her parents immediately turned her room into a study.

Me – When I go to uni, you’re not going to turn my room into a study, are you?

Mum – No, why would we do that?

Me – Thanks, Mum.

Mum – It’s gonna be my shoe room.


Where We’re Going We Don’t Need Roads

June 15, 2009

Satsuki || Brighton
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I was driving my mum and I home after a day out, and I was going a little faster than I perhaps should be. She glanced over to the speed guage, which happened to be 88mph.

Mum – Slow down; what happens if you hit the wire with the connecting hook at the precise instant the lightning strikes the tower?

To my shame she had to explain that she was quoting Doc Brown. My mum is cooler than I am!

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see also: LoTR Mother, Star Wars Mother


Update from TMMS

June 12, 2009

Loving all your submissions, guys!

We’re thinking of stepping it up a notch and publishing TWO stories a day – so keep your Confused, Silly, Awesome, Bizarre, Mean and above all Funny Mother stories rolling in to us at the usual email – thingsmymothersaid (at) hotmail [dot] co [dot] uk

All submissions grateful received – we’d be nothing without you!

Ta,

The TMMS Team


The One (Wedding) Ring

June 12, 2009

Alia || Aus
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My niece was sitting on my mum’s lap, playing with her rings. She took each one off, modelled  it herself, then put it back on, until she reached my mum’s wedding ring.

Mum – You can’t take that one off, baby.

My niece – Why?

Mum – Because it’s … my precious!

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see also: Star Wars Mother