They never pick stunners to be the Panto Dame, either

January 2, 2010

Alice || Coventry

Mum: I always feel so sorry for Dame Edna Everage. She’s such an ugly woman.

That always happens to me, too

January 1, 2010

Clare || Birmingham

I heard my mom stomping up and down the stairs apparently looking for something. When she found it, she announced to no one in particular

Mom: Why is it ALWAYS in the last place I look?!

Catch 22

November 25, 2009

Tamsin || Dorset, UK

We were debating starting the dog on a course of tablets that evening, or leaving it to the morning when he had his breakfast

Mum: Can you open them now, and see if they’re crushable, but if they’re not, don’t open them.

It’s yellow like a sunflower!

October 22, 2009

Gina || Halifax

Mum – “What’s custard made out of? Is it a plant?

And the babies are chickerels

July 27, 2009

Alex || Cornwall, UK

Mum – You know how a male chicken is called a cockerel?

Me – Yes…?

Mum – Is a lady chicken called a henerel?

Take That Like Exotic Fruit

June 9, 2009

Tammy || Bristol

My mum calls herself a Take That fan, and I heard herself singing this in the kitchen about a month ago

Mum – We like papaya! Your love is my only desire! We like papaya!

When I asked her what she thought she was singing, it turns out she’d originally thought the lyrics we ‘Relight my fire’, ie, the correct lyrics, but my dad had convinced her otherwise.

My dad is awesome.

They Also Run In Time With The Circus Music

June 5, 2009

Sam || Newcastle

We were watching a horse and cart pull up at traffic lights. My mum shook her head, looking impressed.

Mum – It’s amazing that the horse knows when to stop, isn’t it?