Mum’s got the X-Factor

Siobhan || Leeds
______________________________________________________

Whilst watching the finalists perform on X-Factor:

Mum: I think one of those guys is going to win.

They never pick stunners to be the Panto Dame, either

Alice || Coventry
_________________________________________________

Mum: I always feel so sorry for Dame Edna Everage. She’s such an ugly woman.

That always happens to me, too

Clare || Birmingham
__________________________________________________

I heard my mom stomping up and down the stairs apparently looking for something. When she found it, she announced to no one in particular

Mom: Why is it ALWAYS in the last place I look?!

Catch 22

Tamsin || Dorset, UK
__________________________________________________

We were debating starting the dog on a course of tablets that evening, or leaving it to the morning when he had his breakfast

Mum: Can you open them now, and see if they’re crushable, but if they’re not, don’t open them.

It’s yellow like a sunflower!

Gina || Halifax
__________________________________________________

Mum – “What’s custard made out of? Is it a plant?

One For The Brits Among Us

Jenni || Norwich, UK
___________________________________________________

Mum – Who’s that lady with the big hair – off Eastenders?

Me – Barbara Windsor?

Mum – No, no… erm … Oh, I remember – Dolly Parton!

And the babies are chickerels

Alex || Cornwall, UK
___________________________________________________

Mum – You know how a male chicken is called a cockerel?

Me – Yes…?

Mum – Is a lady chicken called a henerel?

Diablo Cody Didn’t Write Borat, Either.

Sasha || Cardiff
___________________________________________________
I returned home from the cinema and my mum asked what I had gone to see

Me – Bruno, it was very funny.

Mum – I know it, the one about the pregnant girl.

Me – It’s really, really not.

Bad Dreams Are Made Of This

Natalia || Poland
___________________________________________________

I was chatting to my mom on Skype this morning, and the following ensued…

Me: I had a really bad dream last night, I woke up with goosebumps everywhere.

Mom: Maybe you have a fever?

Me: No.

Mom: What did you dream?

Me: I can’t remember.

Mom: Then how do you know the dream was bad?

Me: Because I woke up from it, but then I went back to sleep, and now I don’t remember.

Mom: So you still don’t know if it was a bad or good dream! Maybe you needed to pee.

Your Mum Rates Us

Natalie Trans || Australia / Youtube
___________________________________________________

Noticed on Natalie’s Twitter:

When teaching my mother some English (point and name), my sister points at a camel

Mum – Next. I don’t need to learn that.

___________________________________________________

Has to be said that Natalie is one of our favourite people on these here intermawebs. Go see her. She is awesome.